Perfectionism

Lately I was sharing some struggles to a dear friend and she responded: “Allie! You know that does not define you, right?!” And I said: I hope so…I hope I can change. She looked me straight in the eye and said “Yes, you can change. There is hope!”

Praise God for people who speak truth! Do we do this enough? Really encourage and spit out wisdom upon our friends?! I hope I can be the kind of friend that can say “Don’t believe those lies dear friend here is the truth!”

I’ve been listening to a song over and over in my car so much so that my 3yr old now knows all the lyrics. It’s by J.J. Heller she talks about it’s meaning HERE if your interested. But the main point of the song that touches me the deepest is this line:

Perfection has a price
But I cannot afford to live that life
It always ends the same; a fight I never win

I struggle with perfection and I never really connected it with being a controlling person until recently. I spend a lot of worthless energies trying to control the people around me especially when I feel like things aren’t going the way I hoped. And I hold so tight to the things I think is best and don’t release them to the Lord. But releasing our fears on Him is what we are called to do.

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you!”
Psalm 55:2

Even within the bounds of my creativity my perfectionism effects me. Creative souls have a need to make, live, create ideas, physical things, pieces of art. And when we find ourselves in the dry spell when we aren’t creating it’s just deflating. And then perfection robs us from the opportunity to grow. If we would just put something out there that’s incomplete and offer that incompleteness to the Lord and ask him to use it, imagine what beautiful things we would experience! Too many times I have stayed quiet, held in my thoughts, kept in ideas because I felt it wasn’t perfect enough so why put it out there? But the Lord blesses our burnt offerings!!! He takes them and turns them into beauty! Praise him for I am fearfully and wonderfully made to create beauty and to magnify the Lord!

“For by a single offering he has perfected for all time
those who are being sanctified.”
Hebrews 10:14

** Thank you O Lord, that you do not leave me in my struggles but that you in your grace will bring me to a perfect completeness. When I struggle to make it on my own way may I look to you. And by looking to you, may I be encouraged to still create and still peruse beauty even when I feel it isn’t perfect. Bless my feeble attempts, grow them towards beauty that will glorify You. **

2 thoughts on “Perfectionism

  1. Ali, loved this post and the song! You expressed your feelings beautifully. Perfection seems to bring a lot of guilt along. Lately I’ve been learning that it’s about choosing grace over guilt. We still miss having y’all around but trust that the Lord is using you where you are.

    1. Yes indeed grace is something that the Lord has been teaching me in remembering that he gives it to me and that I can have it for myself ; ) In fact that’s my daughters middle name. Just like your girl…lol I guess He is teaching us both the same reminder. We miss you too, you and Steve were such a blessed encouragement in our time at Trinity, THANK YOU!

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